Harder

It become harder with each passing day to describe what it is you have made me feel. I do not feel passive, nor tamed, nor in any way truly different than I did before all of this. I can't say that I feel changed and yet I see changes. In the way that I walk and smile more, in the way that I feel more at ease with myself, even though it is both an abrupt and gradual change.

I wake up in the morning after speaking with you, or seeing you the night before and I feel langruous, pleasantly dozy and warm all at once. I could die in your arms, curled up and protected, or simply listening to the soft roll of your voice in my ear. I could take these moments of peaceful stillness and hide them away inside myself, so that I might close my eyes and recall it all over again. I want to carry this feeling with me all the time. I want to know that each time I watch you go, I can be assured that I will soon see you again. I want to wake up in your arms, feeling safe and secure. I don't want to spend another night waking up cold and alone, without your arms around me, of your cheek pressed close to mine. I can wait though. I've been as patient with life as I can be up until now. I can work to be even a little bit more so, if that's what it takes.