I believe if I should die

What do i do? it seems like once a week i find something out about someone i know and it just brings me down....

when will people stop being so hypocritical and judgemental about everything and everyone? probably the day they stop being human....im not saying im not like this. it's just that it sucks to know you've tried so hard at something, to achieve something, to know that it was worth it, to know all the frustrations and complications and heartbreak was going to actually show a result.....

I want to die while you love me,
While yet you hold me fair,
While laughter lies upon my lips,
And lights are in my hair.

the lesson i think ive learned is that i have to focus being happy onto one specific thing....and that is being happy. you see most peoples problem is they focus their entire idea of happiness onto one person "if i dont have this person i cant be happy" "if this person doesnt love me back i cant be happy"..... you know? all i do is say to myself, if im happy, im happy, im not gonna let it be so dependent on the outside world anymore, all that matters in your life anyway is what is in your head, thats the fundamental way you percieve, if you live outside of your mind.. please tell me so i can take whatever drug it is your on.. just joking.

Never to feel the same tear again
To feel it twice is a lesson unlearned.
To not forget is a story to be told.
I cry for us to be complete
I cry for us for we have yet to meet.
I can feel, for I felt it before.
I know it some where behind an open door.

i wish that all these people that end up so "heart broken" could just stop being so dependent, and yes this is advice im telling myself at the same time...so im not a THAT hypocritical!!!......... oh well another day another ...well i dont want to say what i did again...

i could destroy you with just one bit of truth
make a believer out of me
tell me there is something for you to hold on too
i know you cant keep pushing yourself
further into this hole of stupidity
it doesnt seem like this could mean anything
or do anyone
anygood
but i ll keep on rambling for the sake of being right
am i one to judge?

I went to that place in my mind yesterday where you can not follow. Where I can be alone but not lonely. Afraid but powerful. Starving but passionate. I sat there by myslef in my cage tied down and restrained. As we always are. Screaming silently into the wind.

I found myself yesterday and attempted to follow. I then learned i am not as brave as who I really am, or as strong as you. I was angry and deppressed wishing i had wings as you do so i could fly away.

I went insane before today. I hated myself because i could not gain your love. I hated you because you did not want it.

I played a song for you yesterday but you werent there to hear it. Perhaps it wasnt meant to be heard at all. I tried to catch myself yesterday but i fell an inevitable fall.

It doesnt really matter who the hell I am.
You wouldnt care anyway.
I dont think you'd understand.
Perhaps i think, we are just all the same.
You are me, I am you, with a different body and name.
What if I told you that I wasnt really sane.
Ive held it all in to long.
Ive swallowed to much pain.
Would you fear me.
would you place the blame.
It wouldnt matter anyway.
Cause I think we're all the same.