This Is My Melancholy
For me, the sadness begins the instant I drive away. The moment I can't see your smile, feel you close, hear your voice, taste your skin, that is when I feel like a whole half of everything that is inside me and ever has been inside of me, has been ripped away, pulled apart from me until I want to scream. I want to go running back to you. I want to cry for need of being held, for the need of being in your arms once again, for the need of being able to close myself and become lost in you again.
I'm so caught up in you, trapped and enraptured until I can't think. I can hardly draw breath when you're not here, and I feel so terribly empty. You give the world whole new shades of meaning simply with your presence because you restore my innocence, my faith, my wonder. For a short time I am whole and can be everything and nothing all at once. I can be the paradox that I have created within myself. I can be everything that I've ever seen in myself that was worth being, but it always comes back to you.
You didn't create me, you merely inspire me. I exist without you, my world continues to turn, but it is the promise of seeing you again that brings me peace. It is the thought of falling asleep in your arms, without thought or reason in my head, that keeps me sane in a world that would otherwise make no sense at all.
I've lost all control of my senses. I've lost all hope of being able to somehow keep this from overwhelming me, from meaning too much to me. I'm still trying to take this one day at a time, to just live it as it comes, but it gets harder every time I fall asleep in your arms. It gets harder every time I have the chance to just spend whole days with you, and wonder what it would be like to stay like that forever. When I asked you if we could get married... I meant it. It frightens me senseless, makes me want to cry and laugh all at once. It terrifies and petrifies me to think that I could actually contemplate a lifetime with a single individual, but I can't help that it has happened. My greatest joy in it all, is that the person is you, and you are perfect to me.
I'm so caught up in you, trapped and enraptured until I can't think. I can hardly draw breath when you're not here, and I feel so terribly empty. You give the world whole new shades of meaning simply with your presence because you restore my innocence, my faith, my wonder. For a short time I am whole and can be everything and nothing all at once. I can be the paradox that I have created within myself. I can be everything that I've ever seen in myself that was worth being, but it always comes back to you.
You didn't create me, you merely inspire me. I exist without you, my world continues to turn, but it is the promise of seeing you again that brings me peace. It is the thought of falling asleep in your arms, without thought or reason in my head, that keeps me sane in a world that would otherwise make no sense at all.
I've lost all control of my senses. I've lost all hope of being able to somehow keep this from overwhelming me, from meaning too much to me. I'm still trying to take this one day at a time, to just live it as it comes, but it gets harder every time I fall asleep in your arms. It gets harder every time I have the chance to just spend whole days with you, and wonder what it would be like to stay like that forever. When I asked you if we could get married... I meant it. It frightens me senseless, makes me want to cry and laugh all at once. It terrifies and petrifies me to think that I could actually contemplate a lifetime with a single individual, but I can't help that it has happened. My greatest joy in it all, is that the person is you, and you are perfect to me.
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