Decisions, decisions, decisions.

When I left for Asia, in the back of my mind I had a feeling it would be more than a vacation. My gut feeling told me that something would happen, not sure what, but something. My male intuition didn't disappoint me.

Basically, I've been offered a position in the family business once again. As the eldest, there is added pressure in such a proposition. Asia is an extremely family oriented society. When you make a decision, you never think soley about yourself, you always keep your family in mind.

I've always been involved in the family business one way or another. When I was in the states, I still did some things for the company. Also, I grew up with the people who work for us, they've become family to me. When I left for the states, it was difficult for me being that I had to leave everyone behind. Some people joined us because they shared the dream I had given about the company.

Well, now is one of those times where my help could come in handy. The company is in a transition phase where it can boom or bust. If I stay here, it means postponing my education in literature but then I get to help out in the family business.

Moreover, there's a personal aspect to this all. My father and I have been at odds for quite some time. Something happened before, maybe I touched upon it in some of my previous entries. Well, I know my dad is a good guy, its just that there are some things he has done which really hurt me. Thing is, the bad that people do always overshadows the good. I was guilty of that, by getting angry at him for an overextended period of time when I should have just let it slide. So staying here and helping out my old man could help fix up the relationship.

What gets to me is the fact that if I decide to stay, I will put my pursuit of literature behind me once again. I'll shelve it until ... well ... I don't know until when. Besides, I like it in the states ... its a more condusive environment for literature and of course the women .... hahahahaha

So there you have it, two dreams that collide. If I stay I get to fix things up with the old man and help out in the company but then I leave my literary aspirations behind. I know some of you think that I can pursue my literary aspirations here. Not that easy, work is VERY time consuming. Decisions, decisions, decisions.