A moment ago ...
Just a little bit closer, sharing these breaths and thoughts. We both know that tomorrow could bring it all to an end, and yet, even though it's hard to think of leaving, I'm not so afraid when you hold me. I'm not so sad when you press my head to your shoulder and let me be what I am.
Perhaps I am not so strong as I like to pretend, or so hard and rough edged. Perhaps my defenses against the outside world and the harsh words of others are not so strong and well honed as I would like to believe. Perhaps I am more wounded than I intend to ever let even myself know, but then again... maybe with you I can trust that half of myself. Maybe with you I can be as vulnerable as I was oh so long ago. Maybe with you I can wear my heart on my sleeve for the world to see and not have to fear the rejection because there will always be you by my side.
Then again, my own journey is coming. One that is a road I must inevitably travel alone. Not that I will not have you there, but the path and the journey will not be the same for you, nor for any. I'm not so afraid of that now. I'm not so afraid that when I plummet from the sky, or sweep up into clouds, that when I spin and twist and make insane patterns on this path, that you will not be able to keep up, or stand where you always have.
I can smell you in my clothes still, even now I'm just sitting here looking out at the gorgeous sky, and thinking of only two days ago, when we drove together under a picturesque sky. I am even now thinking of how we fell asleep on the floor of my grandmother's living room, watching TV and eating cereal. I can recall perfectly the warm feel of you next to me, radiating heat and keeping me warm. I hope that we can have more moments, just like that.
Perhaps I am not so strong as I like to pretend, or so hard and rough edged. Perhaps my defenses against the outside world and the harsh words of others are not so strong and well honed as I would like to believe. Perhaps I am more wounded than I intend to ever let even myself know, but then again... maybe with you I can trust that half of myself. Maybe with you I can be as vulnerable as I was oh so long ago. Maybe with you I can wear my heart on my sleeve for the world to see and not have to fear the rejection because there will always be you by my side.
Then again, my own journey is coming. One that is a road I must inevitably travel alone. Not that I will not have you there, but the path and the journey will not be the same for you, nor for any. I'm not so afraid of that now. I'm not so afraid that when I plummet from the sky, or sweep up into clouds, that when I spin and twist and make insane patterns on this path, that you will not be able to keep up, or stand where you always have.
I can smell you in my clothes still, even now I'm just sitting here looking out at the gorgeous sky, and thinking of only two days ago, when we drove together under a picturesque sky. I am even now thinking of how we fell asleep on the floor of my grandmother's living room, watching TV and eating cereal. I can recall perfectly the warm feel of you next to me, radiating heat and keeping me warm. I hope that we can have more moments, just like that.
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