Stolen whenever I can get them.
There are things that are difficult about this. Sometimes it's just learning to live with the day to day, to keep my eyes from glancing ahead and worrying about the future when I know that these lazy days and comfortable nights are going to come to an end. It's hard not to think about how my heart is going to break for want of being able to see you, hold you, listen to you breathe. I can't get enough of you, and yet I know that soon, all I will have is small tastes of you, stolen whenever I can get them.
The most difficult part is when you're not here, to hold me when I hurt, to soothe me when I feel that deep volatile rage build within me. Sometimes it is hard to just breathe without feeling like I'm drowning in the chore of day to day living, counting down the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until the next time I'll get to hear your voice or feel you close. I don't need you to be physically here to feel you near me, to know that you care. I just need to hear you, to be able to close my eyes and revel in the sound of your voice so that I can imagine the warm hazel of your eyes and the soft scent of you. I can smile through out the day because I can remember every inch of you, the feel of your arms around me, the warmth that you radiate to balance my cool, the soft touch of your fingertips. Most often though I recall the way you look into my eyes, seem to study my face, looking for and seeing something that I don't understand. I'll never understand why or how it is that you've come to care for me like you do. All I understand is that it overwhelms me, makes me cry to think about because it seems so perfect, and I worry that the world will take you from me.
I can't explain this feeling, or the hurt that people cause me because of the things they say without thinking. "It's just another phase for him. He'll get over it soon enough. We just have to wait it out. You'll see, another girl will come along and he'll be just the same. I've seen him smile like this before." It makes me doubt myself sometimes, until I close my eyes and remember you. I feel that deep longing inside me, an aching need that's so strong I can't begin to describe it. I've only ever once felt something similar and even that... wasn't this. This is better, and not in any way that I could ever just put into words for people to understand. Maybe the best explanation for it is that it's like comparing the Indian Ocean to the Pacific Ocean. Both are large bodies of water, both share the same water, but they are two completely different things, both in size, and in the life that teems within them. Maybe one day I'll be able to explain it. For now I'm just going to allow myself to become wrapped up and entwined in you until I can't even find myself. For right now, you are home at the end of a long road.
The most difficult part is when you're not here, to hold me when I hurt, to soothe me when I feel that deep volatile rage build within me. Sometimes it is hard to just breathe without feeling like I'm drowning in the chore of day to day living, counting down the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until the next time I'll get to hear your voice or feel you close. I don't need you to be physically here to feel you near me, to know that you care. I just need to hear you, to be able to close my eyes and revel in the sound of your voice so that I can imagine the warm hazel of your eyes and the soft scent of you. I can smile through out the day because I can remember every inch of you, the feel of your arms around me, the warmth that you radiate to balance my cool, the soft touch of your fingertips. Most often though I recall the way you look into my eyes, seem to study my face, looking for and seeing something that I don't understand. I'll never understand why or how it is that you've come to care for me like you do. All I understand is that it overwhelms me, makes me cry to think about because it seems so perfect, and I worry that the world will take you from me.
I can't explain this feeling, or the hurt that people cause me because of the things they say without thinking. "It's just another phase for him. He'll get over it soon enough. We just have to wait it out. You'll see, another girl will come along and he'll be just the same. I've seen him smile like this before." It makes me doubt myself sometimes, until I close my eyes and remember you. I feel that deep longing inside me, an aching need that's so strong I can't begin to describe it. I've only ever once felt something similar and even that... wasn't this. This is better, and not in any way that I could ever just put into words for people to understand. Maybe the best explanation for it is that it's like comparing the Indian Ocean to the Pacific Ocean. Both are large bodies of water, both share the same water, but they are two completely different things, both in size, and in the life that teems within them. Maybe one day I'll be able to explain it. For now I'm just going to allow myself to become wrapped up and entwined in you until I can't even find myself. For right now, you are home at the end of a long road.
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