back home

I'm finally back home. I never realized how much I missed my friends until I was in their presence once again. It's great to be hanging out with them once more.

I've been gone for roughly 8 months and many things have changed while others stayed the same. It's great to be able to witness the changes they've had. Most of them have matured and grown into much better people. But as always, when we're together, it's nothing more than friendship defined in being with each other. I'm very fortunate to have great friends.

I started talking about that girl who I loved hanging out with. Well, I think she's just in this for nothing more than friendship. At first it would seem like a loss but after thinking about it more, I'm just glad we are friends. I've always been searching for tat perfect someone. Sure, I had great moments with the girl but I shouldn't jump the gun. People in their longing to belong will often see what they want to see.

Sure, I had a great time but I have to step back and take a look at what is happening. Rushing things lead to complications. I'm glad to take a couple of steps back and look at everything through different eyes. A change in perspective always helps because this way you don't see things with biased eyes. I greatly enjoy her presence but then I enjoy the company of a lot of other people. Good company doesn't always equate to a possible romance. Instead of looking that far ahead I'm just going to take things as they come. I'll send her mail and keep in touch and if she does the same then good.

If she refrains rom keeping contact then I guess I'll be able to realize what I mean to her, eaither as a friend or as something more. It's amazing how I can be both over-analytical and overly emotional. I think it has to be an oxymoron of sorts. When I should feel I think and when I think I should just feel. I think that maturity comes when you are able to differentiate the situations with greater command. You'll know when you should let your emotions get the better of you and you'll know when to let your head take the lead.

The constant lonliness has made my emotions take an aggressive role in my decision making process which is wrong. Again I will have biases and see things the way I hope they would be. This step back and change of scene has done wonders for me. In my last entry, an anonymous person made a comment that amazed me. I thank you for your praises whoever you are. Someone asked if the change of scenery would do me good. I don't think it's always the case. I often think that I am running away from my problems but that's not the case. I'm here not to evade my plight but to answer questions. I'm able to be with people who can help me figure things out which makes me a lucky person.

On a lighter note, I watched John Mayer perform in concert before I left. His music is amazing. The song, "no such thing", has got to be one of the best written songs that I have ever heard. The lyrics go straight to my soul. It questions life and the real world. It makes you analyze what it is you're doing with your life. It makes you want more. Download the song, it would be worth your time.Thanks for reading and more thanks for all the comments.