My head hurts from all this thinking

I'm here inside this hollow place, hidden somewhere in the darkness. It's a cold place, but it's comforting, warm in it's own fashion. It's cold in an emotional sense, but it warms my soul to be trapped in here.

At times this life is nothing but a cage, trapping me into some small segmented box, keeping me away from reality. I can feel my throat tear and turn raw until blood trickles down from my shredded vocal chords. No more can I scream, because I'm drowning in myself. Or is it you? Maybe it was always you, and never me.

There's some kind of brilliance to the universe, yet its chaotic workings are beyond my mortal understanding. I can not fathom the reasons for all this, yet here it is.

I found myself in a place that was beautiful and perfect. Then, it faded away with the rising of the morning and in my head I heard the words once spoken,"Nothing gold can stay."

I have too many feelings that confuse me. I don't know what I want to do or why I want to do it. I want nothing more than life but to live, to express myself and to be understood.

I thought I understood me, but now I'm not so sure. You tried and failed. You're too weak to hold me, perhaps I'm too weak to hold me.

I find myself in silent reverie, wanting things that are not mine. I don't want to intrude and yet... I'm having selfish feelings, but am I allowed them? I don't know any more.

I have never been one to steal what was not mine, because it is not my place. I have had what was mine stolen and wept over my loss, those wounds still hurt. Even so, I find that I am wanting to take something that is mine and yet is not.

My head hurts from all this thinking, all these confusions of emotions. People have voices that speak volumes beyond their words. If only they knew how their bodies, their eyes, their voices betrayed them.