Trivial Matters

She came toward me in the flowing air,

A shape of change, encircled by its fire.

I watched her there, between me and the moon;

The bushes and stones danced on and on;

I touched her shadow when the light delayed;

I turned my face away, and yet she stayed.

A bird sang from the center of a tree;

She loved the wind because the wind loved me.

Hello again everyone,

I know my previous entry was a total deviation from what I normally write. Please don't be under the impression that it is a regular thing. Also, don't misunderstand it as an attempt to lead anyone into any such activities. I just noticed that I failed to write about other things in life hence my decision to write about that experience.

Someone asked what it's like so I will share. I used to "smoke out" because I wanted to fit in back in college. I can't understand how people fail to realize the importance of fitting in when everyone experienced what it's like to be young and carefree. Well, not everyone I guess.

To be brutally honest, I enjoy how weed stretches one's horizons. Sure you get the hysterical laughter and the overwhelming desire to raid the fridge but there are other effects. My mind just wanders and tends to look at things in a different light. A song becomes more beautiful and the lyrics make more sense. I just love deep conversations and surprisingly enough, it can be achieved here. Most my friends wouldn't talk about certain things unless stoned.

More importantly, it just makes me chill. Aside from being one of the most hopeless romantics, I'm also someone who expects the world from myself. I'm too much of a perfectionist in everything I do. My friends always told me to relax and to get the damn stick out of my ass.

When I smoked out, my friend looked at me and said it was so nice to see me so relaxed. Most other times I'd be too busy occupied over trivial matters. And too often, I am so damn hard on myself. I don't think I'll ever be content unless I change the world, and I'm not even sure about that.

I guess that's why I'm so selective when it comes to women. I won't settle for anything less than perfection because I will give nothing less than perfection either. It's not a narcissitic comment, it's just an indication of how much I am willing to offer.

Yeah, for me life is tough because often times I make it tough. I just can't seem to let go for fear of something going wrong. I guess it has something to do with being the eldest in the family, the feeling of responsibility.

Well, weed does help me relax. And yes, it can be considered pathetic that I need a substance in order to attain such levels of comfort. But I'm the way I am, and if I try to be otherwise, I wouldn't be me.