The Longest Drive Home

I watched the sun rise blood red on the horizon this morning. It painted the thick mist that lay over the world, and all I could think of was how I wanted to share that sight. I could only think of how terrible it was that I had no one who saw what I was seeing, no one to share it with right then.

Three hours can seem an eternity when I'm driving away from you. I thought that it was forever when it was only half an hour, but it's so much more agony when it's that much longer.

I can't think right now. There's too much in my head to ever put on paper. There's too much longing deep inside me, and too much fear, and too much love, and too much wonder. It's all overflowing, spilling over in ways that I can't explain or even understand. I'm so afraid of the things I've said, the things that I've thought. I haven't changed, and yet there is a shift within me. I can feel it slowly growing, slowly becoming something that is strangely comfortable, even as it creates greater and greater anxiety.