How Much Can I Give
I shake my head in wonder at all the things that I would love to do with my life. I love the world, and generally love all the people in it, despite my constant frustrations with them. It is not because I have anything personal against any of them, but rather because I do not comprehend how the rest of humanity seems to think. I do not understand the whole idea of "them" and "us" because I think we are all one and the same when broken down to the most basic essence of our individual selves.
The thing is that, while I may curse and spit at those who do not think like myself, I love them in the most basic way possible. I wouldn't get angry and frustrated with the world if I didn't care so deeply about it.
Perhaps that is the worst part, because I do care, and yet I find myself and my attempts at sympathy and understanding to be constantly rejected. Of course, there is always that mentality that people have adopted of picking and choosing what "kind" of individuals with which they prefer to associate themselves. Even I am guilty of such a habit. Even I see myself falling in with a particular "crowd" of people, but those also tend to be of the type who think in a similar manner to myself.
I just find myself daunted constantly when I think about the immensity of the world, and the problems that arise from the attitudes we adopt towards one another. Yet, no one truly wishes to fix any of the problems so everything stays the same. No matter how much help I may want to give, no matter how many times I may offer, it will always be rejected. Whether that rejection is direct or indirect depends on what others believe they can gain from the experience.
I only wonder how much I can continue to give to the world before I finally burn out. On the other hand, it is the rare occasion when the things that I do truly make a difference to someone that make it worth it. I love the smile that comes to that person's face, the feeling like something has been lifted from within me and from upon them. It really is incredible, and it is something I truly thrive upon.
Perhaps that is the worst part, because I do care, and yet I find myself and my attempts at sympathy and understanding to be constantly rejected. Of course, there is always that mentality that people have adopted of picking and choosing what "kind" of individuals with which they prefer to associate themselves. Even I am guilty of such a habit. Even I see myself falling in with a particular "crowd" of people, but those also tend to be of the type who think in a similar manner to myself.
I just find myself daunted constantly when I think about the immensity of the world, and the problems that arise from the attitudes we adopt towards one another. Yet, no one truly wishes to fix any of the problems so everything stays the same. No matter how much help I may want to give, no matter how many times I may offer, it will always be rejected. Whether that rejection is direct or indirect depends on what others believe they can gain from the experience.
I only wonder how much I can continue to give to the world before I finally burn out. On the other hand, it is the rare occasion when the things that I do truly make a difference to someone that make it worth it. I love the smile that comes to that person's face, the feeling like something has been lifted from within me and from upon them. It really is incredible, and it is something I truly thrive upon.
Comments