Remember
I remember the stillness of night, while being crouched in the grass, waiting... waiting. I remember how silence can be a tangible thing, and the waiting its own kind of torture.
Darkness is fulfilling, easy, concealing. In the darkness I can hide from both the good and ill. I can move in the way that I best know how. I can take one gentle step at a time, guaging all the effort, knowing how much weight to put where, and how to avoid drawing attention. I can become an unobtrusive stalker, not by trying to be, but by trying not to be.
Time out of memory I have seen myself in my mind's eye as two different creatures. The darker half of me is the beast, the lurking, territorial creature that craves conflict, and desperately seeks challenge. It is the half of me that is dark and sexual, dangerous, deadly and detached. It is the half of me that knows the scent of blood.
Then there is the half of me that sees daylight, the part that most people see in such elegant splendor. It is the half that is affectionate, loving. It is teasing and hopeful. It is playful, and flamboyant, dancing about in the brightness of day and basking in the warmth of life. That half of me is the part that craves compromise, and peace. That part of me desires nothing more than to happily sit and twirl daisies between my fingers and lay face first in the grass in order to just inhale its scent for hours on end.
Then there is me. I am the place where these two creatures of sunlight and moonbeams meet. I am the vessel in which both struggle to dominate, but simply end up blending and molding into one creature of balance. Some days the scales tip in one direction or another, but in most ways, it is always the same, always a mixture of two strongly opposite halves.
Darkness is fulfilling, easy, concealing. In the darkness I can hide from both the good and ill. I can move in the way that I best know how. I can take one gentle step at a time, guaging all the effort, knowing how much weight to put where, and how to avoid drawing attention. I can become an unobtrusive stalker, not by trying to be, but by trying not to be.
Time out of memory I have seen myself in my mind's eye as two different creatures. The darker half of me is the beast, the lurking, territorial creature that craves conflict, and desperately seeks challenge. It is the half of me that is dark and sexual, dangerous, deadly and detached. It is the half of me that knows the scent of blood.
Then there is the half of me that sees daylight, the part that most people see in such elegant splendor. It is the half that is affectionate, loving. It is teasing and hopeful. It is playful, and flamboyant, dancing about in the brightness of day and basking in the warmth of life. That half of me is the part that craves compromise, and peace. That part of me desires nothing more than to happily sit and twirl daisies between my fingers and lay face first in the grass in order to just inhale its scent for hours on end.
Then there is me. I am the place where these two creatures of sunlight and moonbeams meet. I am the vessel in which both struggle to dominate, but simply end up blending and molding into one creature of balance. Some days the scales tip in one direction or another, but in most ways, it is always the same, always a mixture of two strongly opposite halves.
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