Something to think about...

Some might think that it is the goal of every blissful relationship to be so open with one another that every thought, memory and past experience is shared. While in many cases that might be a terrific goal, for some it could cause irreparable damages.

The mind is an amazing thing. It can remember sights, smells and visions from decades ago. It can be a powerful tool in recollecting wonderful childhood memories, thoughts of an early courtship and other pleasant occasions.

The mind can also be a jail for tormenting thoughts and flashbacks. Think back on survivors of war who after the carnage was over, took their own lives because their minds could not forget and the traumatic images would never go away.

I'm often asked how much of one's past life should be shared with someone you want to marry. While each situation is a little different, when it comes to previous intimate encounters, it is usually best to discuss them in general terms. Yes, you should be honest if you had sexual relationships before you married, but for the sake of the mind that does not forget, it is best to leave out the details. You will have to live with the memories of your past indiscretions but you should not make your mate live with them too.

While you might be curious to know the names, places and situations of your love's prior intimate encounters, in the long run your relationship with be better off keeping that information in the past. I've known many people who have said that once they knew the specific details of their mate's sexual experiences, it took months or years before those thoughts and images no longer dominated his or her mind.

In blissful relationships we don't ask our mate to share memories he or she ise trying to forget and neither do we tell our mates those things that will sear unwelcome images into their mind. In some cases it is best to discuss those things, but a trained counselor would be of more help. While God does forgive and forget the all the wrongs things we have done when we ask Him to, we humans have to live with our memories the rest of our lives.

Something to think about...