Again, I cry silently ...

I cry silently
I cry inside of me
I cry hopelessly
Cause I know I'll never breath your love again
I cry
Cause you're not here with me
I cry
Cause I'm lonely as can be
I cry hopelessly
Cause I know I'll never breath your love again

Again, I cry silently for the decision that I make which turns out to be the dumbest thing I ever did. I cry for the fact that I thought I've lost someone. I never wanted to believe the bad thoughts that pop into my mind, I cry again just to let you know I still need to believe that you'd come back... someday. I know I shouldn't tell anyone about this, but that really for me to understand and for you to find out. I know you should know better what I'm talking about. I'm not angry or anything; I just pity myself for being so pathetic and naïve. Naïve ... is that what it is? Am I really being too naïve? Well, now that is beside the point. I don't care if I'm being naïve and all that would just to let me know that I'm enjoy being alive.

All this time, since forever... nothing that I ever do seems to be right or in place. I never thought that I could still breathe to write something for others to read; I too never would have known that I could care about someone as I do to you. Cry every tear that I had just for you. I do miss you, if you should know. Sometimes I laugh on the way my own life have fooled me. Laughing so hard that sometimes I would cry again in the end. To be able to feel the purest of love from someone like you was really a great honor. To feel the warmth of your company each night even only thru that way that no one ever knows. It's just really beyond my wish to and I am so proud to be with you.

For the one that you ever loved; try to cherish the moment you have while you still got the chance. Don't let any sort of suspicious or jealousy lose its place, or you might regret it one day that you wish to turn back the time to the place where you wish to have. To know someone like you in ways that only you would know was such a bliss. It's like I've been giving a chance to see how would you face the pain, grew stronger, start a new life again and be the person like you wanted to be. And for all that it has it's own price... my tears. The bliss ... never failed me to get me back on my feet. After all the sadness that I m facing was from you, I could never have done anything ... much.

Just spread some advice; to make you feel you still have someone beside you thru your sad times and breakdown. I don't want you to feel alone for I know the pain to be alone to face the hard times. I've feel that... well may be some of you would say it's not the same. I admit that. Different person would experienced different situation, different hurt; pain. But still... to be alone facing a hard times wasn't a very good idea for the time being. Every time, since then... I want to be next to you. Cause I feel like you could use some company even it was from far away. Before I even know it, I felt like I can't afford it if one day you would be gone from my life. In times when you didn't call ... I feel like I'm losing something that I didn't even know. My heart aches when I thought I've lose you.

I'm upset ... that I didn't talk to you anymore, for the reason so doubtful that I could think of. I missed you that make me fall sick; and that might sound quite corny. After all, the thought that I might lose you makes me think I'm done. No more phone calls and sweet msgs only means one thing. I won’t be able to know you even more. By the crowd that surrounded me everyday ... I'll always try to find your trace. But I often end up to something I wish to know but I couldn't. The thought of you always hit my head and by that reason I start writing again; for I get the chance to spread my thoughts and felts thru my writing. I love to write and now that I got the chance I'll try not to stop again. You sort of inspired me ... and suddenly I feel that I love you.

To love is to care, and to understand is a bliss... that's really for me to find out. Well, seems like the end is almost arrive upon us. I never wanted to believe that. I try so hard not to believe that and I end up realizing a tear fell down my check and then more followed. I just couldn't believe that everything is gonna hit it's end when I have only taste its beginning. The tears that fell was very innocent ... innocent that it should not fell when I'm depressed. It should only to appear when I'm happy being together with you. Then suddenly... you told me something that makes me smile. My heart beats faster and I almost shed another tear. The reason to feel the way that I do was knowing that I'm not the only one to feel the way I do. My day shines bright, my heart have been told about the most unbelievable happiness that I've ever know. Thank you, my dear.

After a while, I'm not sure what had happen to you that I didn’t dare asking. You were silent from me ... no phone to call that I fear you'll be in any kind of trouble or you turn your love to someone else. After almost a month that you've been silent, you called and asked for a break-up.

Whenever I remind myself about this, I feel like I could cry. Cry because you're so ‘far’ away and I didn't know how to ‘get’ you. Cry because I miss you so much right now.

I just not really pleased with all this situation that makes us apart so long like this. To something that could make me cry... please do stop. For I can't really afford to cry anymore. It's just... not only cost me my precious tears but also pinned my heart to feel the hardest pain too. It's just didn't seem to be quite fair. I miss you so much that in times seems like you're beside me. All I ever want and wish for was you and me could be together and live happier, just the two of us not including my friend that you trust most rather than trusting me & your love, but then may be I'm just asking for too much. I still love you