Finding Meaning

I have started talking about love, drugs, and even religion in my entries. The topics seem to skew off into unexpected tangents. It seems that my thoughts are all over the place.

Getting back to religion, like I said I respect and even admire people who are very religious. I never said that there was anything wrong with it. It's just not for me.

I think that we all have our reason for living or a purpose in life. Some devout their lives to the religious institution that they believe in. Others engross themselves in a career of choice: a scientist wanting to make a discovery, an artist wanting to paint, and even a janitor wanting to cleanse the world. Some dedicate their lives to enriching the lives of others through social organizations such as the Peace Corps. There are also those who just want to see every nook and cranny of the world. Nothing wrong with anything.

Here's where I think drugs come into play. When people don't have that meaning in their life, they will try almost anything in order to rid themselves of the emptiness within. Sure, temporary reprieve will be attained but its nothing more than delaying the inevitable. When the drugs wear off, there will still be no meaning.

Some people need to go through such a horrible experience to realize the value of the life they live while others never seem to learn their lesson and continue with it. There was a time where I couldn't find meaning anymore.

There were things that I wanted in life and the people around me deterred me from pursuing that road. It ruined me for a while. What I learned is that nobody and I mean NOBODY can make your decisions for you. They can merely guide or give advice but until you start making your own decisions, you will never achieve happiness but instead live a life of wondering what if. Such a life would really drive one to the edge of sanity.

So that's what has been happening to me. Aside from the fact that I was unable to pursue what I wanted, I also had to deal with everything on my own. For me meaning is love and finding that someone to love. And until now, Cupid has been on vacation. I swear that I'm going ot hunt that little bastard down and give him a good beating. *laugh*

It seems that I have gotten back on track now. I needed some time to myself to deal with everything that was happening. I should start writing more entries now.