... And Yet I Know It Well...

I've been here before. I've felt this terror, this frustration at not being able to explain the emotions that are rushing through me. I want to be happy about this, I want to be congratulatory, but the selfish part of me is dying inside. It's screaming for you not to go, to stay with me, to just take one more night to hold me. 

I'm so afraid of all the things that I know won't happen, but that I know could happen. It feels like the more I try not to think about it, the more it dominates my every thought, my every action. 

So I'm going back to spending my nights alone, dreaming of warm arms and soft words that whisper along the back of my neck. 

I don't know how this will play out, but I hope and pray that it will not be just another one of many performances that I have already lived through.